What Actually Happens in an EMDR Session? A San Diego Therapist Explains
If you've been researching EMDR therapy and feel a mix of curiosity and nervousness, that's completely normal. EMDR sounds a little mysterious from the outside — something about eye movements and trauma? Most people aren't sure what to picture.
So let me walk you through exactly what an EMDR session looks like, what we do, what you might feel, and what makes it different from sitting on a couch and talking.
First: The Preparation Phase Comes Before Any Processing
One of the biggest misconceptions about EMDR is that you show up and immediately start processing trauma. That's not how it works and for good reason.
Before any reprocessing begins, we spend time building the foundation. During this phase we explore your history, establish safety and trust between us, learn nervous system regulation tools, build inner resources like a safe place visualization, and identify the memories or patterns we'll eventually target.
For some clients this takes a few sessions. For others, especially those with Complex PTSD or significant early trauma, it might take longer. There's no rush.
What a Reprocessing Session Actually Looks Like
We identify a target. This might be a specific memory, an image that represents a difficult experience, or a situation that keeps triggering you. We also identify the negative belief connected to it, something like "I'm not good enough," "I am broken," or "I am bad."
We check in with your body. Where do you feel this right now? Tightness in the chest? A hollow feeling in the stomach? This grounds the work somatically from the start.
Bilateral stimulation begins. I'll guide you through sets of bilateral stimulation following my fingers with your eyes, holding small tappers that buzz alternately in your hands, or listening to tones that alternate between ears. During each set, you let your mind go wherever it goes. You don't try to analyze or direct it.
We pause and check in after each set. I'll ask something simple: "What are you noticing?" That response guides where we go next.
This continues until the memory loses its charge. You'll know something is shifting when the memory starts to feel less vivid, less urgent, or more like something that happened in the past rather than something happening right now.
We close with grounding. Every session ends this way. You won't leave dysregulated.
What You Might Feel During a Session
Common experiences include waves of emotion followed by unexpected relief, new connections or memories surfacing, physical sensations shifting, tension releasing, heaviness lifting and moments where a memory suddenly feels distant, like watching it from far away.
Many clients describe a session as mentally tiring but not in a bad way — more like a deep workout for the nervous system.
What EMDR Is NOT
It's not hypnosis. You're fully conscious and in control throughout. It's not a quick fix. And it's not about reliving your trauma in detail. You don't need to narrate everything that happened to you.
If you've been curious about EMDR therapy in San Diego but weren't sure what to expect, I hope this helps. I offer free 15-minute consultations so we can talk through what you're working with and whether EMDR feels like the right fit.
Aleah Maas is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and relational trauma therapist based in San Diego, CA. She is the founder of Holistic Flow Therapy, where she specializes in helping adults heal anxious attachment, relational trauma, and complex PTSD. Using EMDR, Internal Family Systems (IFS), and attachment-based therapy, Aleah creates a safe relational space where clients can process early wounds, regulate their nervous systems, and build the secure attachment they deserve. She offers therapy online across California and in person in La Jolla.
